god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
