Pappa wants mamma naked
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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