My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
