what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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