he shaved USA in his pubs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
