How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize