I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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