She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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