Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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