Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
