It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize