so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
