I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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