i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize