is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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