Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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