I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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