Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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