new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
