girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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