So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize