He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
