booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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