so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize