He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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