PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
