I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
