so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
