I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
