you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
