How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
