I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
