and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
