She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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