She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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