And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
