fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
