I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The air was thick with penises
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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