mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
