I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize