well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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