she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
