Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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