My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
