doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
