fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
