My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize