her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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