Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
