Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
did you just send me my own nude
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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