Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
