I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
