remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
