She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
