i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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