I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you would pick up someone in the library
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
