i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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