I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
