i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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