Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
