I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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