He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
