you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
