You're so nebulous sometimes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
