I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl is more easily done than said...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
