I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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