I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
