Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
