Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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