"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
