it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
