yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can Purell be used as lube?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
