i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
