i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
