he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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