Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
