there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
